SUNDAY EVENING SPORTS REPORT

The Rams won?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This has been your Sunday Evening Sports Report.

THE MARKET

This guy had a full head of hair last Monday.

SUNDAY EVENING SPORTS REPORT

THE RAMS SUCK!

This has been your Sunday Evening Sports Report.

BOOT CAMP: TWO WEEKS DOWN

After Week Two, I'm not in as much pain as I was after Week One, which I refer to in my mind as Weak One. And this weekend, I did some running on my own, outside of the confines of Boot Camp. OK, it was more of a walk/run, but running was involved. I am a life-long detester of jogging and/or running; preferring roller blading, bike riding, swimming, etc. But I haven't been doing any of those lately (with 'lately' being defined as 'last several years') AND they aren't part of Boot Camp..... so.... I'm running. And hating every minute of it. In fact, I've developed a little song to help me with my cadence while I run. "I hate this...I hate this....I hate this". I'll agree, not very inventive or catchy, but at 5:45 am and running, I'm low on inventiveness. I do change it up from time to time with "this sucks...this sucks....this sucks" OR..... "I'm going to die.... I'm going to die."

The variety helps me from getting bored.

REALLY BAD HAIR DAY

On really humid days, I can relate.

BOOT CAMP: DAYS TWO, THREE PREVIEW OF FOUR --- HOO boy

I'm going to have to update this weekend. I'm too pooped and need my sleep so I can wake up in time to make it to Day Four. But here's the breakdown so far.

Day Two: Sit ups.

Day Three: Push Ups

Day Four: Running (which apparently translates to "more running" because we've run every day. I've been told by the veterans that Day Four is the hardest.

OH, that reminds, me. It's time for my next dose of Ibuprofen.

Also, stairs? If someone put a gun to my head and told me I had to walk up a flight of stairs, I honestly would pay someone to either carry me up the stairs or just shoot me so I could avoid them. That is due to those fun exercises called "wall sits".

BOOT CAMP: DAY ONE --- HOO AHH!!!

I've been asked if it was what I expected. I'm not sure how to answer that right now. I expected do exercises; and we did.

I expected to have to run and hate it; we did and I did.

I expected to be really tired at the end of the day because one of my daughters -- who will remain nameless --called and woke me up at 10:30 last night to tell me about something that was on Myth Busters and then I couldn't go back to sleep; and I was. (OK, I'm finished harping on that Jenni -- oops)

I expect my muscles to be screaming at me; and so far they aren't. It is early in the scheme of things and that may be a sensation yet to be experiened. I'm also taking fistfulls of ibuprofen and YES I'm aware of contraindications but did you see where I said I'm not hurting? Yet?

What didn't I expect? The number of participants and the nicknaming thing. The class numbered about 40, and as described in the class description, the fitness levels ranged from couch potatoes to tri-athletes. I'd say most of the participants fell in between as there were quite a few people who were in shape but not at the crazy-out-of-their-mind level of the triathaletes. Not that I've ever known anyone in my life who was a crazy-out-of-his-mind triathelete who worked out about 4 hours a day or anything like that.

*cough*

Yeah...the nickname thing. Everybody gets a nickname. And apparently there are no guarantees they will be good ones. The instructor, whose name I didn't get except that he's called "Sir", introduced the returnees by their nicknames. Spike, Round-Up, Hotcakes, Nark. We were told that Hotcakes chose her nickname -- and seems to be the only one who got to. Round-up works for Monsanto. I don't yet know the origins of the other names. And I didn't really hear all of the others. As Sir pointed to them, the rest loudly yelled out Spike! Hotcakes! RoundUp! Nark! And then kind of faded out for the rest and all I heard was Mumble! Mumble! Mumble! Yada! Yada! Get! The! Idea?

And then it was time to name the newbies. The first one was chosen, stated her name, occupation, hobbies and the fact that she is getting married in a month. By unanimous consent of the gang in the back corner of the room, she was bestowed with the name of Bridezilla.

I was next. I gave my name, occupation (paralegal), hobbies (blogging and cooking). My nickname is ...uh... Briefs. Because of the paralegal thing. And again, by unanimous consent of the back corner of the room.

Next, another future bride who is a pharmaceutical rep selling blood pressure meds. Ed. For Erectile Dysfunction. I don't get it either, but the back corner of the room was enthusiastic about the name. In fact, when bouncing the options around, one guy said, "I like erectile dysfunction." Yes. He did say that out loud. But anyway, she's now Ed.

Another pharmaceutical sales rep, sells cholesterol drugs, and her hobbies are eating and drinking. Stroker. We now know the back corner of the room could easily confuse their medications if not careful. But it was early in the morning, we were going through the paces, so it's not surprising that creativity was in short supply.

There wasn't enough time for all of the newbies to get nicknames, so that activity continues tomorrow morning. Kathy and I can't wait for them to get to her son. Occupation: head cheesemonger at a local wine shop. But based on today's names, the back corner of the room just might christen him "Curd."

BOOT CAMP

I report to boot camp on September 8.

No, this does NOT mean our military has gotten desperate and has started drafting middle-aged women. This means that I've completely gone off my nut and have signed up for early morning torture on a daily basis for 8 weeks. Or maybe it's 6 weeks. I'll just be happy if I make it through one week.

Back in the day (which I SWEAR seemed like last week), I worked out on a fairly regular basis. I would swim a mile three or four mornings a week, lift weights, go on 25 to 30 mile bike rides on weekends, and rollerblade several times a week. I'll admit it, I wasn't totally buff and cut or anything, but I was definitely in better shape than I am now. Somewhere along the line, I stopped doing all of that and discovered the joys of couch potato-tude. And in doing so, I've discovered the downside of said couch potato-tude.

I enjoyed working out. During Olympics, I would find myself swimming or skating for the gold (in my mind of course). In fact, when I was in my 40's and "swimming for the gold", I heard the announcers marveling that I was competing at the Olympic level at that age. And this year, Dara Torres stole my thunder!

Hey, Walter Mitty's got NOTHING on me!

Long bike rides in the country were not only good from a cardio-vascular standpoint, but I would work out all of the problems in the world, or at least in my own world and would have time to get a good perspective on situations that I had to deal with. And get a good tan at the same time.

But at some point in time, I've let all of that get away from me and reclaiming it has seemed to be overwhelming.

From time to time, I've taken stabs at returning to my former life. That has usually involved buying a piece of gym equipment, signing up for a class or getting my bike tuned up. I'll set the alarm for a gaspingly early hour but would end up hitting the snooze button 20 times before taking the late bus to work. Like Scarlet O'Hara, I would say, "Fiddle-dee dee. Tomorrow is another day." And another day would find me slapping the snooze alarm and oversleeping.

So far, the only thing trimming down is my bank account from the monthly automatic withdrawals for my Y membership. At one point, I decided I needed to take things to a higher level and increased my Y membership so I could attend any Y anwhere in the world.

And yet I don't.

I even got a locker at the Y across the street from work so I can roll out of bed at said gaspingly early hour of the morning, throw on work-out clothes, grab my pre-packed gym back and clothes and catch the early bus to work.

And yet I don't.

In fact, I've forgotten the combination to the locker so I can't get into it to get out my shoes, toiletries and the tank suit I keep in there to wear in the whirlpool to ease the aches and pains in the muscles I just put through a good work out. (I hear laughter in my head.)

So, one day a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the newsletter to our local community center and encountered an article about Rise and Shine Boot Camp. The article swore that the class is for participants of all levels, from couch potatoes to tri-athletes.

I thought, "hmmmm"

There's that laughter in my head again.

I put the newsletter down and went to throw in a load of wash. Towels. Recognizing the symbolism, I ran back upstairs (which has been the extent of my work outs lately) and dug the newsletter out of the trash. OK, so that's where I actually put it when I said I had put it down.

I decided to sign up and talked a friend into signing up, who talked her son into signing up. You know, that peer-pressure/misery-loves-company thing.

Realizing that the folly of trying to go from couch potato to boot camp could be VERY painful and disheartening, I decided to start trying to get active before boot camp starts.

And yet I haven't.

Surprised?

OK, I've been walking in the evenings more, and have been taking the stairs at work every chance I can, but I don't think that's going to cut it. On September 9, I'm confident that I'm going to wake up moaning and groaning.

Yeah, I'm going into this thing with a real positive attitude, aren't I?

On September 7 I will set the alarm for a gaspingly early hour. On September 8 I will roll out of bed and into my work-out clothes and will dash the three blocks to the Community Center to start Rise and Shine Boot Camp along with Kathy and Adam.

Progress will be reported here.

Assuming I live to report it. And can type.

I'VE GOT MAIL

People must be falling for this stuff because they keep sending these e-mails. This one has a slightly different angle. It's from "FedEx Redstar". They cannot quote the content of the letter via e-mail due to privacy reasons.....but they CAN tell me that the contents include a bank draft worth $380,000 USD.

Gosh....makes me wonder what the letter says. Oh well. One of life's little mysteries I don't feel like solving right now.



Dear Customer!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your
Confirmed Package that is registered with us for shipping
to your residential location.We had thought that your
sender gave you our contact details.It may interest you
to know that a letter is also added to your
package.However, we cannot quote its
content to you via email for privacy reasons. We
understand that the content of your package itself is a
Bank Draft worth of $380,000.00 USD, FedEx Redstar Courier
do not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but Bank Drafts
are shippable.The package is registered with us for
mailing by your colleague, and your colleague explained
that he is from the United States but he is here in
Nigeria for a three (3)months Surveying Project as he
works with a OIL RIG consultant firm in West Africa,
Nigeria.

Special Order. What you have to do now, is to contact our
Delivery Department for immediate dispatchment of your
package to your residencial address.Note
that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your
informations, it will take only one working day (24
hours) for your package to arrive it's designated
destination.For your information, the VAT & Shipping
charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your
colleague before your
package was registered.Note that the payment that is made
on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to
certify that the Bank Draft is not
a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it funds to
sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you
avoid any form of query from the Monetary
Authority of your country. However, you will have to pay
a sum of to $170 US DOLLARS to the FedEx Delivery
Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee
of the FedEx Redstar Courier as stated in our privacy
terms & condition page. Also be informed that your
colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping charges,
but we do not accept such payment considering the facts
that all items & packages that is registered with us have
a time limitation and we cannot accept payment not knowing
when you will be picking up the package or even responding
to us.So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such
payment incase of any possible demurrage. Kindly note that
your colleague did not leave us with any further
information.We hope that you respond to us as soon as
possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry
date of the foremost package, we may refer the package to
the British Commission for Welfare as the package do not
have a return address. Kindly contact the delivery
department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the details given
below:

FedEx Delivery Post
Contact Person: Mr. Jim Coker
Email:
deliverypost.jim@fedexredstarcourier-online.co.uk.pn
info.fedexdispatchofficer@btinternet.com
Tel: +234-807-437-8481
Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email
address given above. This is mandatory to reconfirm your
Postal address and telephone numbers.

FULL NAMES:
TELEPHONE:
POSTAL ADDRESS:
CITY:
STATE:
COUNTRY:

As soon as your details are received, our delivery team
will give you the neccessary payment procedure so that you
can effect the payment for the
Security Keeping Fees. As soon as we confirm your payment
receipt of $170 USD, We will not hesitate to dispatch your
package as well as the
attahced letter to your residence. It usually takes 24
hours being an over night delivery service. Note that we
were not instructed to email you, but
due to the high priority of your package we had to inform
you as your sender did not leave us with his phone number
because he stated that he just arrived Nigeria and he
hasn't fix his phone yet. We indeed personally sealed
your Bank Draft and we found your email contact in the
attached letter as the recipient of the foremost package.
Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email
address given above and ensure to fill the above form as
well to enable a
successful reconfirmation.


Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Gary Alis.
FedEx EXPRESS TEAM Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2008
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This E-mail is only for the above addressees. It may
contain confidential or Privileged information. If you are
not an addressee you must not copy,
distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it
or any attachments.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FedEx>>>LICENCE OF fedEx Redstar CO-OPERATION.

THE WORLD WILL JUST HAVE TO WAIT.....

.....I'm bonding with my new iPhone.

Laundry is piling up, dishes are in the sink, the garden needs weeding, tomatoes need harvesting, the house plants need watering, I need a pedicure, one teeny little hair on my chin needs tweezing, Fantasy Football draft picks need to be ranked for the draft in --eek-- two hours....but all of that is on the back burner. I'm trying to figure out how to pair my Bluetooth headset with my iPhone. Even with the Bluetooth device sitting on top of the iPhone (like a newborne baby lying on her mommy's tummy) the iPhone just says "searching" and can't find it.



Just my luck, I have a myopic iPhone.

In the news......

Duh!



Maybe they should put baseball cards in the spokes.



..........and your Olympics-related laugh of the day........

iConundrum

I ordered my iPhone this past Saturday.


(YAY)

The local Apple Store had a full supply of them

(YAY)

My AT&T wireless account is not due for an upgrade.

(boo)

My friend Judy has an upgrade available that she was willing to loan to me.

(YAY)

The local Apple Store that has a full supply of them could not process a transaction where I would be borrowing an upgrade.

(boo)

So we went to the local AT&T store who could process a transaction where I would be borrowing an upgrade.

(YAY)

But they do not have any iPhones in stock so I placed an order and have to WAIT (argh!!) 7 - 10 days.

(boo)

I received an e-mail from AT&T Sunday night that my order has been shipped.

(YAY)

I checked the tracking information Monday afternoon and found out that my iPhone has been spending the ENTIRE DAY traveling from one side of Ft. Worth to the other.


(boo) and (huh?) (What does Ft. Worth have to do with Apple and iPhones?)

Whatever

I just checked the tracking and my iPhone is HERE. In ST. LOUIS. Well, Berkeley, at the "sorting facility" for the delivery service being used (the same one that was in the plane crash in Castaway.)

(so, YAY)


SURELY the iPhone will be delivered to the store TODAY!!

(another YAY)

I'm going to the Cardinal ballgame tonight.

(and another YAY -- oh, wait a minute----)

With work

(oh -- yeah--that)

So I'll have to WAIT until tomorrow night!

(arrrrgh!!)

Surely iJest

Steve Jobs has never been known to rest on his iLaurels after launching the latest in techni-tude.  He went right from iPhone.1 to the MacAir to iPhone.3g.  And did he stop to catch his breath after that?  No.  OK, maybe he sat at his desk for a few minues and slid a MacAir in and out of an envelope and repeatedly said, "How cool is THAT?!".  But that's about it.  Because he and his fellow gazillionaire nerdy genii went back to work and came up with the latest in doorknob technolog.

Ladies and gentlemen, the iKnob.




OK, so Apple CLAIMS it's really a Bluetooth Headset for the iPhone; but who are you going to believe, THEM or ME? I have your best interests at heart; I don't want you to look silly, walking around with a doorknob hanging from your ear.

You're welcome.

ONE WORLD ONE DREAM

The Chinese welcomed the world the Beijing and boy! Do they know how to put on a show.  

"How did they do that?" was said more times that I care to count.   But seriously, how did they do that?

The fireworks were spectacular, but didn't help out with the pollution.

The Greek flag was apparently edible.

I thought pictures of the Birds Nest were great, until I saw the Water Cube.  Wow.

The dancing calligraphers were great, the drumline was awesome, the movable print -uh-- thing was outstanding.  So I feel petty pointing out that we can see this guy's wires.  I supposed for all of the dazzle they gave us, we should forgive that little slip. (for the pendantics in the crowd, I'm joking!)

Team USA looking spiffy,

...and tall......

But others were taller. OK, that kid? They say he's 9. Just how long is the typical Chinese year? Six months, 'cause that kid sure doesn't look 9.

Again, wow.

Quite a few countries chose to go green.   Well, ok, it was a major color in their flags.  Iraq's (or Iran's --- ???) green was better than a lot of the others.    Green can be a tricky color to pull off, fashion-wise.

In fact, green men were everywhere.

Roger was his country's flag carrier on his birthday.  He's obviously quite happy.

Hungary.  Um.....  did anyone else have the urge to sing "Who Let the Dogs Out?"   Police were everywhere, but obviously the fashion police were elsewhere.  

Yeah.  And then there's this.  

On the day John Edwards admits to some hanky panky and watches his political career go up in flames, W does the spanky spanky and enjoys the perks of his lame duckitude.

SEARCH RESULTS

You may have noticed a number way down there ⇓at the bottom of my blog.  (OK, when I preview it, that arrow thingie worked.  Now I jut get a blank square.  Huh.)
⇐
==
>
↔



OK, I'll stop.

ANYway, besides telling me how many times my blog has been accessed, I also get statistics on HOW people have found me. StatTracker gives me the key words that have been used in searches on which my blog has appeared in the result list.  Those can be very interesting.  The top two searches that land people on my place are Charter Communication Sucks; and the simple search for an entimologist.

This blog entry  was quite popular for awhile searching for a particular guy.  And not the one you'd think by looking at it.   The searches were for Edward "Gil Chesterton from Frazier" Hibbert; who had been starring in the Drunken Chaperone on Broadway.  

And Edward "Gil Chesterton from Frazier" Hibbert, if you are one of the searchers and have found this blog, who in Brussells is looking for you?  That's like Ground Zero for the Edward Hibbert Fan Club.

BUT, the other night I was floored, chagrinned and stymied by a new finding.  My blog is a on the result list for a search that is phrased "public humiliation in St. Louis."

I mean, HEY!!!!!  OK, so it's not the TOP result, in fact, it's not even on the first page of the results.  It is the top one on the second page of the results, though.  Which, ouch.

Was it on a result list for Best Blog in St. Louis?

No.

Was it on a result list for Most Available Bachelorette in St. Louis?

No.

Was it on a result list for Funniest Woman in St. Louis?

No.

Was it on a result list for best Mom in St Louis?

No.

(Note:  but it will be on the result lists for all of those searches now!  Ha!  )

It was on a result list for Public Humiliation in St. Louis.  But, I guess that's what you get when you have a blog post entitled Public Humiliation.

ANNOUNCING THE WINNER

So what won the race, the Car or the iPhone?


The car.

THE RACE IS ON

What will I get first? A new car?





or a new iPhone?



True, there are more used cars available in St. Louis than there are iPhones. Apple's website indicates the shelves in the local stores are bare. An attempt to contact the AT&T store to check on current and future availability was unsuccessful. One couldn't even talk to a real person but was assured that if one left a message, the call would be returned or one could access the website. One didn't even hear the usual obligatory "your call is important to us." That must be due to the fact that the call was not, in fact, important to them as the call was not returned. I'm not real sure I understand the constant urging to access the website as the iPhones are not available via the internets.

Even some of St. Louis' beautiful people were unsuccessful after standing in line on Friday.



So, place your bets; car or iPhone...which do I get first?

I'M BACK!

For those of you whose RSS Aggregators have been aggravated by my blog today, I apologize. I've been trying to finalize the posts about Meghan's wedding, and Blogspot and I have been having issues with each other.

Since April, I have been working on making the "perfect post" about my daughter's wedding. I finally realized that I was not going to be happy with anything I wrote, so decided to let the pictures tell their story.

The five posts that follow will do just that.

And I'm happy to say I've finally finished this before their third wedding reception will be held, this one in Pennsylvania in August. I'll post those pictures sometime in November at the rate I'm going.

A ROYAL WEDDING

Her Royal Highness, HRH Princess Meghan got married this past April.



To a boy



It was a wonderful weekend and she got a wonderful guy. I'll be honest, he got a wonderful girl as well.

The Grandparents were excited.



Relatives drove in from all over the country.




It was time to start rehearsing.

THE DAY AND NIGHT BEFORE

In a successful effort to keep the wedding budget within control we made the favors, flowers, boutineers and corsages ourselves. Meghan and I worked on the milk and white chocolate candies for the tables at the reception.

Jenni and Meghan made the pew decorations.

The day of Jenni's and Tim's rehearsal, we had to deal with tornadoes.  In fact, during the rehearsal itself, we had to go to the basement as tornadoes were touching down outside of town.  

The night before Meghan's and Ben's rehearsal, we had an earthquake in the Midwest. People told Don and me how glad they were that we didn't have any more daughters to marry off.

The Grandpas chat about the state of world affairs at the rehearsal dinner.



Jenni and her Grandma



Ben's family is from the East Coast; Meghan's is from the Midwest. Their extended families hadn't gotten to know their chosen mates, so the couple showed a video of photographs taken since they met.



Being old married people now, Jenni and Tim sit back and enjoy.



The happy couple with her Dad.



Jenni and I.



The bridesmaids all in a row.



Everyone mills around before the rehearsal.



Nathan gives the couple some instructions.




Meghan describes the width of her dress as Ben covers his ears so he can't hear anything about it.



Meghan and her girls gather for a slumber party the night before the wedding.





And the hairdresser arrives early the next morning to start working on the updos.



During the process, Meghan's cousin Jesse arrives from Texas and surprises her. Meghan didn't think Jesse was going to be able to attend.





And then.....we head for the church.