Saturday, July 08, 2006


I have no cable. Zip. Zilch. Nada.

These are the phone conversations I had today with Charter Communications (and what a misnomer THAT is):

Automated Voice: I will need to ask you some questions first so we can quickly solve your problem.

Me: Oh great.

AV: Hmmmm, I didn't quite get that. What is your phone number.

Me: (gives it)

AV: What is your address

Me: (gives it)

AV: For security reasons, I will need the last four digits of your social security number

Me: (gives it)

AV: What is the nature of your problem.

Me: It won't work.

AV: Hmmmm, I didn't quite get that.

Me: (pushes "0")

AV: I understand you want to speak to a representative but this really will go faster if you answer my questions.

Me: (expletive deleted)

AV: Hmmmm, I didn't quite get that. It would be better if you answered with "Yes" or "no".

Me: When did I take the stand to testify?

AV: Hmmmm, I didn't quite get that. In a short sentence, what is the nature of your problem?

Me: How the heck am I supposed to say that with yes or no?

Av: Hmmmm, I didn't quite get that. What is the nature of your problem.

Me: There's no signal.

AV: Let me check that for you. (mysterious beeps and switching noises). We are checking that and will get an answer for you in 12 - 36 hours. Is there anything else I can help you with? Press 1 if you want to sign up for our automated payment, press 2 if you want Charter Cable Phone Service.

Me: (presses 0)

AV: That is an invalid response.

Me: You want an invalid response, I've got your invalid response right here.

AV: Hmmmmm, I didn't quite get that. I will switch you to a representative.

Me: Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Automated Voice: All of our representatives are busy taking care of other customers. Please wait and your call will be handled in the order in which it was received. When your representative answers, please ask about the $150.00 you can save a year with Charter Cable Phone service.

*45 minutes later*

Representative: Would you be interested in Charter's automated bill paying service.

Me: No.

Representative: Would you like to save $150.00 a year with Charter's Cable Phone Service?

Me: No.

Rep: How can I help you today?

Me: My cable doesn't work.

Rep: What is your home phone number?

Me: The automated voice lady said she got all of that information to make this process go faster.

Rep: That information gets dropped when the call is transferred.

Me: You've got to be kidding. (gives number)

Rep: (asks all of the other questions the automated voice lady asked)

Me: What is the nature of your problem.

Me: No signal.

Rep: OK, I'm sending a signal to your Moxi box, you will have service in 15 minutes. If not, please call back.

Me: Is there a number I can call that gets through faster than this?

Rep: No.

Me: Then how about if I just hang on the line until it starts working.

They were quite amused by that request (not really) and hung up.

Show of hands, how many are NOT surprised that I didn't have a signal after 15 minutes.

So I go through the phone calling process:

AV: I see that you called earlier today. Has your problem been resolved?

Me: Would I be calling if it had?

AV: Hmmm, I didn't quite get that. Are you still experiencing the same problem?

Me: Yes.

MUCH later, I was again talking to a real person, who told me that they should NOT have told me 15 minutes, it would be more like 45 minutes, and I could call back then if I still didn't have a signal. I said that 45 minutes has passed due to their wait time.

So they said that someone would have to come out. I would get a call in 24 to 48 hours to schedule a time next week when they would come sometime between 8 and 12 or 1 and 5.

For what I pay a month, they should get their little tukas' over here pronto.

So, I cancelled the service. They told me they would be here on the 20th, between 8 and 12 to pick up the box. I said, "You just don't get it, do you?"

They also told me they will disconnect the service as of the 20th.

Still they aren't getting it.

To sum up, Charter Communications SUCKS.

I'm now looking up the number for the satellite people.


jenni said...

No TV means you'll get to blog more, right?

Jenni said...

At least yours wasn't quite this bad...

Leetie said...

That's one of the reasons we switched to satellite. We wanted as much distance between ourselves and the cable company as possible.

Slyeyes said...

Yes, Jenni, I'd seen that and was thinking about it when I was talking to the automated thing. Charter got in trouble a few years ago about the way they handled their disconnects. I had no problem when I told them I no longer wanted their service, other than trying to find a time to return their equipment. I asked why Charter makes it so difficult to be a customer. She said she understood my frustration, but they've switched to a new system and there are now longer wait times to schedule appointments. I told her that wait time would probably drop as they lose customers.

Leetie, so far, the satellite company isn't proving to be much better. The rabbit ears are looking better and better. I ask myself "Do I REALLY need to pay a chunk of change to watch TV? Then I remember "Monk", "Rescue Me", "Daily Show" and most of the Cardinal Games. Maybe I'll try the rabbit ears for a few weeks and see how I do.

The problem will come when my son-in-law is here and only has 4 - 5 channels to surf.

Eleanor said...

ACK! I just can't believe they could be that rude! I mean, I believe you, but how stupid are they!!!

Your post really makes me appreciate the good service that Cox Cable gives.
It usually takes less than a minute to get to a real person. And then they have you hold on while they send signals, and they tell you to do different stuff and wait while you do.

When CG hooked up my HD Cable Box to my new HDTV we were on the phone with Cox for ONE HOUR! while they talked him through it and they would have stayed on another hour but I got tired of it.

You should start a push for Cox to come to your area. :)

Kafaleni said...

Laynie - there's an idea - then she could have pole dancers just like you do!

southerngirl said...

sly, that sounds about as bad as tryin' to unsubscribe from AOHell!

Sarah O. said...

sly -

1. Hi again! I kinda took a break from the internet but I'm back sitting on my butt in front of the computer.

2. So it looks like the whole world is figuring out that communications companies are the absolute worst at communications.

3. I just love phone trees that ask us to talk. Especially when we inevitably curse and they energetically respond "I didn't quite get that. Could you please repeat your response?"

With pleasure, Dear.

Leetie said...

El, I think that yours is the exception to the rule. Cox was also our cable service provider. *twitch*

Tramp said...

I have never had cable. And you have justified that decision. Maybe I'm old school, but wasn't TV invented to be free, as in paid for by advertisers? And why, exactly, are there still commercials on cable? Isn't that akin to double dipping?

Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work. thnx!

Anonymous said...

I'm impressed with your site, very nice graphics!

Anonymous said...

Hello. I find your blog very interesting. As far as I know Charter Cable specializes in telecommunications services. I saw the customers’ feedbacks about the company on this great site I think that a company should provide quality products if the prices are quite high. It is not an issue with Charter Cable.

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you my story:

I have 2 digital cable boxes on 2 tvs in my home. I called support because 1 was not working-no picture, just a black screen. The other worked fact I was watching my working digital cable while talking to support. First, they reset my cable box...still no picture. Then I am told to unplug my cable box, wait 30 seconds, and my picture should be restored. No picture. So, the agent says " I am checking your coverage area to see if there is an outage in your area". Meanwhile, I am still watching my working digital cable on the other tv. The agent comes back on and says "yes, there is a cable outage in your area and I'm sorry, but I cannot give you an estimated time when it will be restored." So, I tell her...that's funny, because I am watching my working digital cable, and therefore, it seems to me that there is no outage. So she tells me..."Well, that is odd because I am looking at your area and there is currently an outage in your entire coverage area. Your picture should be restored sometime soon!!

Anonymous said...

Charter still sucks and so do their snotty sarcastic so called Customer Reps - dumping them for Direct TV