SOULARD AND OTHER AREAS OF ST. LOUIS

UPDATE: I've decided to change the title of this post since I'm updating with more events about this other than Soulard.

Some people not familiar with St. Louis think of us as a bland and boring town. The thought is, outside of the Cardinals and the Arch, what else is there?

A lot.

One of my favorite areas of St. Louis is the Soulard Neighborhood. It's a great place to spend the day AND evening; and is home of the second largest Mardi Gras in the United States. (and they are wondering how large this year's will be post-Katrina New Orleans). Then there's the annual Bastille Day celebration, complete with the ceremonial beheadings.

The homes in Soulard are over 200 years old and a number of them have been turned into restaurants. Along with great food, they feature some really great music; especially zydeco and blues.

The Soulard Neighbordhood also features a number of well-tended community gardens which have transferred trashy abandoned lots into eye-pleasing green space accented with colorful flowers.

A friend of mine volunteers at a soup kitchen at Trinity Lutheran Church in Soulard and asked me to help today as some volunteers couldn't make it. Kathy, Pat and I arrived early enough that I was treated to a tour of the church. Trinity was built in 1864 and was designed by Charles May, a renowned architect at the time, responsible for many churches and schools in St. Louis. The Soulard area is enjoying a regrowth, which is benefiting the church. I was told that it is packed on Sundays with a great deal of the congregation being under forty.

The outside photo of the church was taken from an article about the Soulard neighborhood. The sanctuary photos were ones I took this morning with my camera phone.











This photo does not do justice to the chandelier which is made out of guilded bronze. While there is the ability to raise and lower it, the only time that has happened was in 1998 when the church was renovated; then it was raised a couple of feet to give better clearance. Cleaning and lightbulb changing are done with poles.

Trinity does impressive mission work to the homeless in the community. Among the work they do is a soup kitchen which operates six days a week, as well as a food pantry serving needy families.

When I was first given our assignment, serving chicken flavored ramen noodle soup and pastries, I was a little surprised. Soup with pastries? But it is a hit with their customers. I was told that attempts have been made to vary the soups with beef and even homemade chili. They were told by their customers to leave the chicken soup alone, thankyouverymuch.

The church was also giving away clothing that morning, as well as vouchers for haircuts. Bob, a volunteer who was working with the clothing later told us that one guy came in wearing a coat that was a little snug on him. He tried on a different coat which fit him much better, and asked if he could trade, rather than keeping both for himself.

Bob told us he lives across the river in Collinsville, Illinois, but belongs to Trinity because of its mission work. He works in the soup kitchen every Friday. I could tell from the customers they recognized him and liked him.

We served up 82 bowls of soup, lots of coffee and pastries and saw a lot of clothes being carried away in bags. One guy was sporting a new Rams hat, with the sales tag flapping in the wind. Pat offered to cut it off for him, but he preferred it like that.

Kathy donated some coats that had belonged to her husband (also named Bob) who passed away almost eight years ago. She stood at the window and watched as some of the men walked down the street in her Bob's coats. No longer stuffed in the back of a closet, they were being put to good use.

The kitchen had a large window through which the food was served. Pat worked the window while Kathy and I were busy getting it ready. I could hear Pat keeping up a running chatter with her customers.

One girl couldn't have been 20; and there was a little boy with his mother who appeared to be high on something.

Count your blessings.

After our shift was over, we went a few blocks away to the historic Soulard Farmer's Market.





The Market has four wings, each stuffed with fresh produce, live poultry, meat markets, t-shirts, hats, spices, coffees, teas, and pastries. I went to the market several times about 10 years ago and promised myself I would shop there a couple of weekends a month. Even though I pass there at least a couple of times a month, I haven't shopped at the market since then.

I do need to make it a part of my routine.



Unfortunately, it appears an earthquake hit during these two photos. It was just so crowded that it was tricky getting a good shot.



Being a major Mardi Gras party area, beads were already on sale. These are beads that also serve as beer can holders.

Sadly, the picture of the sign advertising "Alligator on a stick" did not turn out at all.




And then, of course, there's the fresh beaver.

I'll wait until the giggling stops.
.
.
.
.
.
I'm still waiting.
.
.
.
.
As I was taking these pictures, a woman standing next to me said, "Girl, you actually takin' pictures of that beaver?!" I asked, "What else are you going to do with it?"

OK, I hear more giggling.





And then there was the guy who seriously asked the butcher, "Is that beaver good eatin'?"

OK, now I'm giggling.

*****************************************
UPDATE

I ended my day in another interesting place in St. Louis; the Washington Avenue Loft District. I went to a wedding reception at a place called Windows on Washington. Pretty cool place. In the lobby, they have a waterscape which is a flower garden made out of glass flowers in a pond. It's a fountain with the water raining on the glass flowers.

.

Again, my camera was not with me, so we'll have to rely on a CramCam photo. I took 4 pictures and this is the best one.

Do they make tripods for camera phones?




******************

UPDATE: I drove downtown to meet Meghan for lunch this afternoon. She was passing through St Louis on her way from visiting a friend at Mizzou. It was a beautiful day in St. Louis, close to 60 degrees but windy. After Meghan drove off, I took a few more pictures with the good ol' camera phone.

Here's a look east towards with Arch and the Old Courthouse. In front of it is Kiener Plaza, still decorated for Christmas












This is the new Busch Stadium under construction.








A look west down Market Street, the Civil Courts building is on the right, way day Market is Union Station.

RAMBLING OBSERVATIONS

RAMBLING OBSERVATION 1

I found out why my purse has those obnoxioussticking-in-the-air handles. As I was on the bus this morning, I noticed the stitching on one of the handles is coming lose and I could see SPRINGS in there. I pulled the handle down a little bit, activating the spring and the handled whapped back into it's proper place.

And yes, I was SHOCKED! SHOCKED I tell you that a knock-off designer Gucci purse bought from street venders in Battery Park, NYC had such shabby workmanship. There's just no pride in knock-off workmanship these days.

*****************************************

RAMBLING OBSERVATION 2

The knitting bug has hit the bus. We now have four women who are knitting in the mornings. I sit with them in the front on the seats that face the aisle. I would prefer not to, but by the time I get on, those are the only seats available. This morning, after being whapped on the nose by my purse handle after inspecting the SHABBY workmanship and the spring, I realized that if the bus were to suddenly veer out of control, I was in danger of a severe stabbing from those knitting needles.

******************************************

RAMBLING OBSERVATION 3

My lunch hour is too short to compose an entire post on here. I'll be back to update.

WEIGHT LOSS IS NOT FOR WIMPS

I did it; I finally put my money where my mouth is about losing weight and joined a certain weight watching organization, which combines the words "weight" and "watchers" in its name. And since money is low in calories and high in fiber, I have actually started losing weight.

Last Friday, I hit my first goal; getting into a pair of jeans a size smaller than what I've been wearing for awhile now. OK, so they were stretch jeans. OK, so I had to lie down on the bed to zip them. They were ON me and they were ZIPPED UP! And we're not going to talk about the muffin top thing going on above the waist band. THE JEANS WERE ON ME AND THE ZIPPER MADE IT TO THE TOP!!

OK?

Oh, yeah, and then there was the breathing factor. But honestly, isn't breathing somewhat highly over rated anyway?

So, I put on a top that disguised the muffin top business and went to work.

Later in the day, I made the mistake of eating something salty, which made me thirsty. You all kind of know where this is going, don't you? Yup. I was in the bathroom, and could not zip the jeans back up. At all. The zipper would get to a certain point, about 2 inches from the top, and it stopped. I tugged and tugged and tugged and tugged. I tried peeing some more. Nothing. And there was no way I was going to lie down on the bathroom floor in an attempt to get them zipped. So I tugged the zipper up as high as it would go, pulled my top down to conceal the rest and dashed back to my office.

I closed the door and laid down on the floor in my office and successfully zipped up the jeans. I laid there, relieved that I got them zipped, and then realized that getting into a standing position in a now too-tight pair of jeans was going to be tricky. That was accomplished, eventually, by latching onto my chair and hauling myself up.

The next two hours at work got uncomfortable as the waist band continued to cut into me deeper and deeper. I had to go to the bathroom again, and put it off as long as I could. I was fearful that I wouldn't be able to get the jeans zipped back up no matter what. But facing an even worse fate of wetting my pants, I finally surrendered and went to the bathroom.

I did the tugging dance in the stall, couldn't get the zipper all the way up, and returned to my office and successfully got the jeans zipped by lying on the floor. All I had to do after that was survive the bus ride home and then GET! THE! JEANS! OFF! ME!!!!

When I got home, I raced into my room, ripped them off, took a very d-e-e-e-p, cleansing breath and then looked at myself in the mirror. There was a very bright red stripe around my waist. Also, I had a rather painful bruise on the first knuckle of my index finger from tugging on the zipper.

Was I disappointed? NO! Why? Because that morning, the jeans were on me and the zipper made it all the way to the top!! If only for awhile.

AND, I am thrilled to report that this morning, I was able to put on that same pair of jeans (and they have been washed and dried since Friday) and the zipper easily slid to its upright and locked position. Since today isn't Casual Friday, I couldn't wear them to work today. I just tried them on to see if there had been any further progress since Friday. HOWEVER, I am wearing a size smaller skirt and it is fitting very comfortably.

So far today, I have not had to lie down on the floor of my office, and I consider that a good thing. And I'm not having any trouble breathing, either.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? HELLO? HELLO?

I got a new cellphone today. A friend called me this afternoon and asked if I was doing anything exciting this weekend. I told her no. I can't go out and play with anyone until I figure this thing out.

I've downloaded a ringtone. But I can't find it. It's buried somewhere in my new phone. I checked my account and was charged for it, so I know it's in there somewhere. Check under "ringtones?" That does sound like a good idea, but it's not there. Check under "downloads"? Another good idea. Not there either. So, right now when my phone rings, I get the "Cingular Theme Song." And that just screams "HEY, EVERYONE!! SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO PROPERLY DOWNLOAD A RINGTONE!!!"

The SIM card that was supposed to transfer all of my numbers to my new phone? Somehow, the only numbers that transferred were the ones I deleted on my old phone. !?!?!? So, after I figure out my new phone, I have to spend the rest of the weekend re-entering everything. Oh yeah, and I complained to the rep about the wrong phone numbers on the SIM card, and she just said "sorry." And she was the one who told me how to set it up so the right numbers transfer.

Sorry? SORRY? SORRY!?!

I'm also supposed to be able to do mobile blogging. That had been set up with my old phone. To check my camera on the new phone, I took a picture of my computer and sent it to my blog. So far, it hasn't shown up.

It's probably out there in cyberland with my ringtone.

Hope they're having fun. Maybe they'll write soon and let me know where they are.

Oh, hello! Look what showed up:

This article, posted by insomniac in the last thread, is proving to be woefully true.

UPDATE: AND, someone suggested "beaming" the contacts in my PalmPilot to my cellphone. The only result was a series of photos I inadvertently took of myself trying to mate my electronic devices. However, vanity prevents me from posting any of them. Apparently, I subconsciously think that sticking my tongue out of the side of my mouth is an important step in accomplishing that.

iPods, Ad Nauseum

I feel as though I've pulled one over on the Apple folk. (tee heee -- don't tell them)

As I mentioned in my last comment in the iTrippin' thread, when it comes to iPods and digital cameras, there is the cost of the device, and then an amount roughly equal to that to buy accessories to actually use it. Apple has managed to convince its custsomers that power adapters are accessories. For some reason, their accessories tend to cost an average of $30.00 each.

The iTrip cost $40.00, and as I've posted, it's basically useless to me. I was considering buying a cassette adapter. Those are roughly $19.00; a bargain by Apple standards, BUT --Ha! Ha! I found out the cassette adapter to my Sony Discman also works, and works great! So there!

My daughter has the FM transmitter that works through the cigarette charger. I tried it, and it is definitely better than the dreaded iTrip. But I can't say it's better than the cassette adapater.

So for now, all is well in my happy little iPodland. I think I'll celebrate by downloading something from iTunes.

iTrippin' and Such

Show of hands, how many people have iPods?

OK, good. Now, show of hands, how may of you bought iTrip to listen to the iPods in your car?

A lot of you. OK, how many of you are happy with your iTrips?
.
.
.
.
anyone? anyone? Bueller? Oh, one in the back...the one with a hearing aid.

Basically, to sum up, iTrip SUCKS!!!

Here's my experience with it. I bought the iTrip mainly so I can listen to audio books on car trips, and also to listen to music on the trips without having to fumble around changing CD's while driving. When I'm out in the hinterlands, it works OK. Not great, but just OK. No matter where I am, there is a degree of static. But when I'm in a metropolitan area, or any area with more than 4 radio stations, forget it. If I want to keep listening, I need to use the earbuds. (And about those earbuds -- just WHOSE ears do those things fit anyway???? They are HUGE!)

The other night, a friend and I had a discussion about the suckiness of iTrip. The next day at work, a co-worker and I had a similar discussion.

Today, I was at the Apple store to purchase an iHome with gift cards I'd received for Christmas. I've attempted to use the iTrip with my home stereo and, it sucks even more than in the car. Lots of static. I'm thinking the iHome would be a good idea.

So, I was standing in a l-o-n-g line at the Apple store and become aware of conversation behind me about iTrip. A guy my age was there with his son and they are talking to a clerk about how the iTrip sucks. The clerk said that it's a good product, it just depends on your car stereo and some of THOSE aren't good.

He was blaming the suckiness of the iTrip on the car stereo. Oh. Do. Not. EVEN!!

I turned around and said to the dad, "I have iTrip and it sucks. I know two other people who think the same." Then I told the clerk, "Three different cars, Saturn, Accura and Eldorado. iTrip sucks in each one."

The dad said he has two Eldorado's and it sucks in each one of those and in his son's Cavalier.

A guy further up in line spoke up. "I'm returning my iTrip because it sucks. I drive a Lexus."

He glanced at the woman behind him and saw she was holding an iTrip and a receipt. Then he said, "How many people here are returning iTrips?"

Four other hands went up.

One woman said she was going to exchange hers for one that had its own antenna.

A young man in line said he was returning one of those as it has as much static as the regular iTrip.

I glanced over at the display case and saw two people holding iTrips and watching all of this. A clerk quickly ran over to them and started giving them some spiel I couldn't hear.

I asked the now very uncomfortable clerk over by us which car adapter had the least complaints. He said the kind that works with cassette players. The guy who had asked how many people were returning iTrips got somewhat upset at that.

"Wait a minute!" He said. Then he turned to the rest of us, "How many people drive cars with cassette players?" Two of us raised our hands. OK, my car is 8 years old. He turned back to the clerk. "That's why they have fewer complaints, not as many people have those any more!"

The clerk assured us that using the cassette adapter got better sound with the iPod. I spoke up. "So basically, people with lower technology in their cars get better sound with their high tech iPods."

You could tell the clerk was having a sucky day and wanted to go home. One of the guys in line said, "It's not your fault, but just pass it on to whomever that your customers arent' fond of it."

Later, I was finally home with my iHome and getting it hooked up. Here's something I don't understand. In this digital age, smaller is better. Why does that not apply to AC adapters and power cords? I've ranted previously about power cords, so I'll just say that this one has the largest adapter yet. It takes up THREE spots on my powerstrip.

All I want is to be able to listen to my iPod at home. I can spend a ridiculous amount of money on speakers to accomplish this, but I already have some good Boston speakers that are hooked up to my stereo. I want to figure out how I can use those without sinking more money into speakers. But I do like the idea of this iHome and after I get the speaker thing figured out, I'll move it into my bedroom.

So, right now, I have this going on:

That's right, my iHome is sitting on top of one of my unused Boston speakers. And as I look at it, I just now realized the speaker is upside down. Huh.

Anyway, I've been doing some online research, and in order to do what I want to do, I need to get a receiver. I'm done spending money for the time being. I mean, it's either a new receiver or heat the house. I'm going with heating the house.

UPDATE: I've received some feedback, and read even more reviews and apparently, the cassette adapter does provide quality sound from your iPod through the car speakers. The cost for the adapter is around $20.00. For those whose car has a CD player, the best option seems to be something like the iPod2Car. It costs between $175.00 to $210.00.

I'm SO glad my car still has a cassette player!

THE PARTY'S OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Undecorating has begun. Such a let down.

It is nice to have things put back to rights, but after the garland has been taken down, the red velvet bows, Christmas Chatckes and decorative candles have been put away, everything looks so plain.

But at least the poinsettias still look nice.

And 2006 has begun!!

THE NOSE KNOWS

"I smell gas in the downstairs bathroom."

That was how I awoke my brother-in-law at 5:00 on Christmas morning. And I continued, "Don't make the obvious joke, please."

My sister, Carol, and I had sat up rather late yakking, sort of dozing, and yakking some more. We finally decided we needed to try and get a few hours sleep before everyone else awoke.

Carol went upstairs, and I stepped into the downstairs bath; and smelled a very strong natural gas odor. I went up and asked her what gas appliances they had and together we went down to the basement to check the furnace. Oddly, a fainter odor there, but definitely an odor. Carol has no sense of smell, but sniffed the air nevertheless.

I went up and woke up Bob, who grumped down the stairs to confirm what I had detected. He went into the downstairs bath and was in there for quite some time. At one point, Carol wondered if he had passed out. Then we heard the toilet flush. We rolled our eyes and went into the kitchen to look up the number for the gas company.

Bob came in and took over calling the gas company, who told him to NOT hang up the phone, leave door and windows closed, not to turn anything on, not to start any vehicles and to evacuate the house. And a technician was on the way.

Out of habit, he hung up the phone anyway, then relayed the information to us. He declared there was no way he was waiting outside and went upstairs to get dressed.

Carol and I asked each other if we were going to wake up everyone. I pointed out that I really didn't think the gas was that strong; but I would HATE for that to be the last mistake of my life.

So we went upstairs and started knocking on doors. My younger sister, Janice, shot straight up at the words "gas leak" and she and her husband were downstairs in no time.

As far as my parents, we waited....and waited...and waited. Carol went back up to make sure they hadn't rolled back over and gone to sleep. A few minutes later, they came downstairs, slowly and completely dressed. We are so lucky that our family never had to flee across borders to escape tyranny. We'd be toast if that were the case. Completely dressed, but toast nevertheless.

After Mom put on the coat she wanted, we all went outside. My parents waited in the car in the driveway along with my sisters. I passed the time pacing up and down the driveway, and noticed something unusual in the tread in Bob's truck tire. A very large nail.

The technician soon confirmed there was a gas leak (HA!) There was a loose fitting in the gas pipe that ran underneath the bathroom floor. He tightened it and we all went inside. Some groggily headed back upstairs to bed; some of us headed into the kitchen for coffee.

As I passed my brother-in-law, he jokingly thanked me for saving everyone's life. I mentioned the nail in his truck tire and pointed out that I'd saved his life TWICE!!! Then I finished by saying "It's all in a day's work and you're welcome. Now fix me some coffee, willya?"

UPDATE: There was a gas explosion yesterday morning in an apartment in St. Louis. One of the neighbors had smelled gas, but didn't think it came from the apartment that exploded because "the man doesn't cook." The technician who came out to investigate our leak pointed out that the odor is put into gas so you can smell it, and anytime you DO smell it, CALL THE GAS COMPANY. It's better than ending up as a headline.

CHRISTMAS EVE!!!!!

Oh goody goody!

As of 11:47 yesterday morning, I'm on vacation!! YAY! I was supposed to be on vacation as of 11:00 AM so I could get to a nail appointment on time, but the important thing is -- I'm on vacation NOW!!

After my manicure and pedicure, I went to the airort to pick up my sister, Janice, and her husband, Don. There had been delays with the flight, etc., and I had a message from my mom that if we got there after 3:30, the patio door would be open as she had to leave for a doctor's appointment. We would be getting there after 3:30 and mentioned to Janice I needed to hit the mall.

She perked up. Don groaned. She batted her baby blues at him. He caved. I like their form of communication.

In the following two hours, I did the major portion of my shopping. That time of the afternoon on Christmas Eve Eve is a good time to get to the malls.

Meghan is home from school; sleeping right now with strict instructions to me that I am not to awaken her before 11:00 am. Something tells me the noises I'm going to be making while cooking and cleaning are going to wake her up. "Oh! Did I drop that pan right outside of your bedroom door? My bad. But as long as you are up....."

Jenni and Tim arrive at 3:30 today from their Florida trip. I had a message from them yesterday that they needed to talk to me as they had issues with their flight. NOT WHAT I WANTED TO HEAR. But it was actually an ink issue; the flight time was not visible on the printout of their e-ticket. All is well.

And now.... it's time to wrap, cook and clean....and awaken the Princess.

MERRY MERRY AND HAPPY HAPPY TO EVERYONE!!

OH TANNENBAUM

I had previously discussed my my Christmas tree situation.

I opted not to go for the upside down tree. Instead, I got a 3 foot rosemary tree, decorated it and put it on my coffee table. And, there's the upside of having fresh rosemary for chicken and lamb dishes.

To think, I started out with a tree that's full and at the rate I'm using the fresh rosemary, it will soon have a hole in it.

And it smells wonderful!

But I do need to get different garland for the windows. What I have has got to be the wimpiest garland EVER!

INFOMERCIALS: THE SNAKE OIL SALESMEN OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM

I fell asleep with the TV on last night and awoke to an infomercial. The information that seeped into my subconscious was that I could wake up, walk to my mailbox and get out checks totally $5,000 a week, just by being on the computer for 12 minutes a day.

WOW!!! I'm on a computer longer than that every day, so I could be making 4 or 5 times that amount, at least! PIE IN THE SKY!!

It seems I can do this all by selling a fantastic new product..... which they barely mentioned. It's some kind of vitamin that allegedly the real doctors don't want you to know about, but it will cure what ails you from scabby skin to alzheimers, if I remember correctly.

AND, there are opportunities to get weekly bonuses if you get 20 or more people to visit a website. Now, here's the beauty of all of this. You can get your money NOW....OR....you can have it put into a lifetime income generating fund. That means that instead of getting all of YOUR money now, you can trust the individual behind this scheme -- I mean IDEA -- to send you $200.00 a month for the rest of your life. And for each bonus, it's just that much more money. WHO would NOT want in on this fantastic deal???? We're all just stooooooopid for not jumping on this bandwagon.

Of course, they had scads of people talking about how many checks they receive each week, just by being on the computer for a few minutes a day.

Let's see...... these must be the same people who send SPAM E-MAIL!!!!!!!!

I haven't yet met anyone who has retired from their real jobs to become spammers, but from the commercials, we should be tripping over these new millionaires just walking down the streets.

NEXT UP was an informercial for a book that reveals all kinds of miraculous health information THAT DOCTOR'S DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. It was researched and put together by 450 doctors WHO DON'T WANT ANY MONEY FOR THIS. They just want to get the word out. So the book is free, right?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It's $39.95. But if you follow the instructions in the book and STILL DIE, your money will be cheerfully refunded.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

QUESTION: IS THIS WOMAN LOOPY?

Since you can't judge a book by it's cover, read the story before deciding she's nutz. I mean, kudos to her and her husband for their service to country.... but still. Although, it's better than replacing her husband with a real man or another woman's husband, so who am I to judge?

MORE CHRISTMAS HUMOR

HO HO HO -- A SMATTERING OF CHRISTMAS HUMOR

THE YEAR OF THE PUMPKIN BISQUE.....and other Thanksgiving Day Disasters

At the time they occur, culinary disasters at holiday times are considered just that. Disasters. But they live on in family lore and their retelling year after year provide laughter around the holiday dinner tables, thus helping aid digestion. UM, ok, I'm tring to put a good spin on it. And with good reason as I have my own disaster(s) lurking in my past.

The most recent was the pumpkin bisque. I had enjoyed the pumpkin bisque served at the Oglebay Inn and Resort in Wheeling, West Virginia and wanted to recreate it myself. Two years ago, I had decided that for Thanksgiving that year, we would start off the meal with pumpkin bisque and end it with pumpkin pie.

One thing you need to know about me is that I enjoy cooking, experimenting with cooking and have had good success with those experiments. But the bisque was not one of my success stories. Pureed pumpkin has an appearance and consistency of something that is the opposite of appetizing. I attempted to cosmetically enhance the bowls of bisque with a dollop of softened cream cheese and parsely. It was not helping.

We sat down, dug in and the Ugh's! and ack's! reverberated around the table. That was the year we met my son-in-law's father for the first time. He was sitting across the table from me and his reaction can only be described as comically valiant. He shuddered slightly, his eyes kind of crossed, he took a deep breath and started to take another spoonful. His momma obviously raised him to be polite. I grabbed his bowl before he could get another taste.

Tim was my soon-to-be son-in-law at that point and he declared the bisque to be delicous. He even had seconds. Suck-up. My mother, being a typical mom, said it "wasn't that bad."

My daughters -- being daughters -- gagged, wretched, and declared it to be the most vile stuff they've ever tasted.

My dad was quiet.

The story of Pumpkin Bisque was retold this year around the table and Tim stated he enjoyed it so much he had four bowls. I told him to quit sucking up.

The Year of the Pumpkin Bisque is (in)famous in our family for another reason. It was also the year my mother contributed a v!brator to the festivities. But that's another story for another day.

Everyone has had a holiday disaster; I invite you to share yours in the "comments" section.

WHY I THOUGHT I HAD A STROKE LAST WEEK

When one has a daughter with the nick-name, Her Royal Highness, Princess Meghan, one has a certain image of said daugther. Something like this......



.....or this on a casual day......




And one expects, and accepts, certain behavior from said Princess. Example; when she was still in high school, I noticed the light was out in her bathroom. I left a lightbulb on the sink for her. The next day, I noticed she was in there, door opened. I asked why and she said she didn't know how to change the light bulb (the makings of "how many princesses does it take to change a light bulb" joke) When she left for college, she had an appointed courtier to handle that task for her, and he did. I even expect to receive middle of the night phone calls from Boston, the first time she ever stayed in a hotel room by herself. "Mom I can't sleep, I'm afraid, I'm having nightmares. Please talk to me on the phone until I fall asleep", and I did.

In addition to these behaviors is a sweet and giving spirit and someone who loves her grandparents and goes out of her way to spend time with them when she's home; someone who will help out a friend in need, and cries at sappy movies like her mother.


So, it was quite a shock to my system when I received this picture last weekend in an e-mail telling me she had gone deer hunting. Yes, my baby girl, HRH Princess Meghan had been on a royal hunting party.....OUT WHERE BULLETS WERE FLYING AROUND!!!
and SHE LIKED IT AND HAD FUN!!!!


This was a behavior I hadn't expected. I'm not saying it's something unusual in our family. I've been in a duck blind myself. And...there may or may not be some road signs in Wayne County, Illinois which may or may not have bullet holes supplied by yours truly. Wait, that was a very long time ago.....I'm sure those signs have since been replaced (and any applicable statute of limitations have run).

BUT, HRH PM has never had a gun in her hands and SHE WENT HUNTING! OK, she said she didn't do any actual shooting; but OTHERS WERE!! And SHE WAS OUT THERE!! My brother-in-law says that she looks like she looks like the newest member of the "Kaintuck Militia". (I suspect a student of another gender was involved)

And in other news, a study was just released that St. Louis is the third most dangerous city in the country.

I may need that gun.


And because I don't want to cause any bad feelings between my two princesses..... equal time: HRH Princess Jenni and Her Prince Charming, Tim.

TURNING CHRISTMAS UPSIDE DOWN

If you've heard about these upside down Christmas trees and thought "who would seriously get one of these"....well....me. Thinking about it, that is. I have several reasons. One is a space consideration. The other is just to aggravate my daughter. Over the last several years, we've developed a Christmas tradition of her dissing the tree; and I must say, she does an admirable job.

I typically decorate sometime in the first two weeks of December. For the last 5 or 6 years, Jenni has lived away from home, so it's just Meghan and I. Decorating isn't her forte and she's already spent time at her Dad's helping him, so by the time I've asked her, she has an over-abundance of attitude built up.

About four years ago, she sat on the couch, arms crossed and criticized the HECK out of the tree. "there's a hole"..."the trunk is crooked"...."it's too short". I finally had it, made a reference to being visited by the Christmas B!tch and proceeded to take the lights off the tree and started to put things away. I told her I was going to pitch the tree and get a Poinsetta so I wouldn't have to spend Christmas listening to her dissing the tree. She changed her attitude and started cooperating.

The problem was, the tree quit cooperating. It WAS crooked. We could not get it to sit straight in the stand. We ended up putting magazines under one side of the stand, which made it somewhat unstable. In order to stabilize the stand, we used an intricate system of duct tape, rope and two five-pound bags of rock salt; all of which was hidden by a lovely tree skirt. We finished decorating the tree, topped it with the angel and went into the kitchen to get dinner.

When we came out of the kitchen a few minutes later, the tree had slid slightly to the right and the angel appeared as though she was about to do a half-gainer onto the couch.

The next year, I decided that was my last live tree and bought a fake tree. A nice fake tree. On tree decorating day, Meghan took her place on the couch, arms crossed and proceeded to diss the fake tree. When she gets a good rant going, it is sometimes best to let her go and when she runs out of steam, get her back on course. When she finished her rant, I asked her if the Christmas B!tch could please leave so she could help me out, and she did.

I was apparently under the wrong impression that fake trees were easier. Oh. My. Gosh. What a pain in the A$$. Color coding. Tabs. This part into that part. I soon became the Christmas B!tch. We finally got it assembled and decorated and stood back to admire it. Eh. We weren't impressed; but over the Christmas season, it was kind of nice not to have to worry about watering and vacuuming needles.

After Christmas, Meghan had the idea that instead of disassembling it, we just take it down to the basement as is so we wouldn't have to go through the color coding, tabs, and this part into that part next year. I thought that sounded like a good idea and also left the lights on it. That was a real good idea until we got to the part of the basement stairs with the right turn. The tree didn't take the turn well. When we finally got it all into the basement, it was missing some limbs and the lights were dangling. At that point, I had had it with Christmas, and just threw a sheet over it and decided to deal with it next year.

335 days later, it was next year.

Meghan and I went down to get the tree and take it back up the stairs with that turn. More limbs were knocked off. As well as one of the legs. We got out the duct tape, rope and two five-pound bags of salt and finished setting up the tree. A week or so later, Jenni and Tim arrived for Christmas. Tim's comment was that you seldom see a fake tree leaning like that.

After that Christmas, I pitched the fake tree and return to a real tree. Last year, I got a pretty decent one, I must say. Meghan wasn't home to help me decorate and it really wasn't as much fun without the annual visit from the Christmas B!tch.

Since then, I have moved and have a lot less room for a tree. And by "a lot less", I mean, none. To have a tree, it will require taking out the love seat....and put it where? So, I was thinking of a small table tree for the end table in the corner by the window.

Then I saw the story about the upside down Christmas Tree. It can either be hung from the ceiling or put on a stand. This could really work. And it would give the Christmas B!tch more material.

But it costs $299 to $499? OK, so maybe not.

I do wonder, though, if this trend will catch on with our Jewish friends. An upside down Menorrah?

VOTING IS ALL IN THE TIMING

I joked with my daughter today about voting. This is because "Something" always happens when I vote. The last time, I had a little old biddy shake her finger at me and shout, "You didn't read your white card, did you?" I had gone to my usual voting place, not knowing it had changed. I've never had my voting place change and didn't expect it to. I thought she was going to take away my voting rights for two elections for that infraction.

Tonight, my bus got home late, but I still had time to change clothes, grab my laptop and walk up to the polling place. My plans were to have dinner at Kaldi's Plaza across the street.

I arrived 7 minutes to 7. Following the signs, I went down the stairs and encountered a little old lady who looked startled to see me. "You don't want to vote do you?" she asked, shaking her head "no" to prompt me.

When I say "little old lady", I towered over her from my lofty 5'2". I seldom get to do that with adults.

I attempted to boom in an authoritative manner, "Yes, I do."

"Well", she quavered. "We've nearly torn everything down."

"Put it back up, it's not 7 yet." I was feeling my oats as an Amazon.

I walked into the room and caught 5 women in the act of packing up. They looked up; startled, then looked at the clock. They sighed as a group and started opening their Official and Mysterious Books of Voters.

The one apparently in charge (you could tell because her hair had the most purple in it) said "OK, but she's the last one."

I looked at the clock, it showed 7:02. I looked at my cell phone, it was 6:55 according to it. I didn't say anything because I was voting, after all.

They weren't happy about it and they let me know by slamming things around and sighing a lot.

I sure hoped I was voting opposite of them.

The door opened and a man walked in, reaching for his wallet to prove his identity.

The women all turned to look at Purple Hair for validation. "Are we going to let him vote?" one asked.

The man challenged them. "And why wouldn't you?"

Purple Hair said, "OK, but lock the door, he's it."

Then she pointedly looked at the clock.

The man pulled out his cellphone and said, "Your clock is wrong; it's 6:58."

Purple Hair said, pointing at the clock "We opened the polls by that clock and we should close by that clock." I looked at her closely, but she wasn't the one I tangled with at the earlier election. She had a different style of finger pointing.

He told her what he thought of that rule; which was followed by more book slamming and sighing.

I voted (only one issue so it was quick) and left, passing a couple on their way in to vote. My cellphone showed 6:59.

Good luck.

PEOPLE

Interesting character study on the bus ride in this morning. After I boarded the bus and said my hello's to those who sat around me, I became aware of loud talking. I looked around in puzzlement, my fellow passengers near me rolled their eyes in exasperation and indicated a gentleman a few rows back.

He was loudly talking on a cellphone, totally oblivious to everyone else around him. Pointed stares in his direction were useless as he was blind. One had to wonder if he also had a hearing impairment as well. His conversation concerned his disdain for self-help books. Apparently, he really really dislikes them.

I quickly dug out my iPod and put in the earbuds. I could still hear him over my audio copy of Freakanomics. I switched to Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville. I continued switching to different albums, until I got to U2's How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. That seemed to drown him out. Of course, my hearing may have been impaired as well, but it was worth it.

Another stop later, another gentleman boarded who didn't seem to have the same social reservations the rest of us had. When he became aware of what was going on, he got up and approached the guy. I turned down my music so I could listen and pick up pointers on how to deal with the socially rude.

"Hey, buddy, you mind talking a little quieter?"

Buddy didn't even acknowledge him; kept talking about how publishers are the only ones who gain from self-help books.

"Hey."

Nothing.

"Buddy." Arm tap.

Buddy lifted his left hand and gave him a one-fingered salute.

OH-KAY, so Buddy is not a nice guy.

The other guy sat down, we all shook our heads in disbelief at one man's selfishness and I cranked up Bono.

Half way downtown, Buddy ended his conversation and put away his phone. With great effort, the rest of us refrained from applauding, but the sighs of relief could be heard through Tina Turner's Addicted to Love.

I removed my earbuds and started chatting with the people around me, getting caught up on each other's lives. We soon became aware of another noise. Buddy was snoring. Loudly. Sloppily.

Ironic that he disdains self-help books.

So, if it wasn't for his impairments, would he still be as rude as he is? Is he rude because of it?

Discuss.

MORE ON POWER TRIPPING

The power cord to my Palm Pilot arrived today!! Yay and yipee. Now I can find phone numbers and know where I'm supposed to go.

In my rant the other day, I don't think I went into the whole thing about how I couldn't buy a power cord at Best Buy or CompUSA, etc. I had to go online to get it. Progress (??)

The other day, I had pointed out that all power cords seem to cost $29.99. I was quite floored when I opened the package today, I had gotten quite a deal. Apparently, they sent me a 4-in-1 power cord.

First of all......


......Palm apparently makes refrigerators. That plug is freaking huge!! It's about as big as the Palm Pilot itself.

After I got over that, I found that those prongs pop off (OK, I had to apply enough pressure, causing a nail to pop off as well) and based on where I am in the world, I can insert one of these prongs:



All of this arrived with a nifty little black nylon bag for storage.

OK now, here's the thing. I had to order a new power cord because I had lost mine....and they send me all of these options to use my Palm anywhere in the world.....which assumes that I'm going to be able to find them when/if I travel anywhere with a different electrical system. Based on history, that ain't gonna happen.

And quite frankly, I'm just a little scared of that big one. I'm afraid if I connect it to my Palm Pilot, I'll fry it and take down an entire power grid somewhere.

Now, I need to find someplace to store that bag o' prongs for safekeeping. Wish me luck.