Monday, December 12, 2005

INFOMERCIALS: THE SNAKE OIL SALESMEN OF THE NEW MILLENNIUM

I fell asleep with the TV on last night and awoke to an infomercial. The information that seeped into my subconscious was that I could wake up, walk to my mailbox and get out checks totally $5,000 a week, just by being on the computer for 12 minutes a day.

WOW!!! I'm on a computer longer than that every day, so I could be making 4 or 5 times that amount, at least! PIE IN THE SKY!!

It seems I can do this all by selling a fantastic new product..... which they barely mentioned. It's some kind of vitamin that allegedly the real doctors don't want you to know about, but it will cure what ails you from scabby skin to alzheimers, if I remember correctly.

AND, there are opportunities to get weekly bonuses if you get 20 or more people to visit a website. Now, here's the beauty of all of this. You can get your money NOW....OR....you can have it put into a lifetime income generating fund. That means that instead of getting all of YOUR money now, you can trust the individual behind this scheme -- I mean IDEA -- to send you $200.00 a month for the rest of your life. And for each bonus, it's just that much more money. WHO would NOT want in on this fantastic deal???? We're all just stooooooopid for not jumping on this bandwagon.

Of course, they had scads of people talking about how many checks they receive each week, just by being on the computer for a few minutes a day.

Let's see...... these must be the same people who send SPAM E-MAIL!!!!!!!!

I haven't yet met anyone who has retired from their real jobs to become spammers, but from the commercials, we should be tripping over these new millionaires just walking down the streets.

NEXT UP was an informercial for a book that reveals all kinds of miraculous health information THAT DOCTOR'S DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW. It was researched and put together by 450 doctors WHO DON'T WANT ANY MONEY FOR THIS. They just want to get the word out. So the book is free, right?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

It's $39.95. But if you follow the instructions in the book and STILL DIE, your money will be cheerfully refunded.

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

2 comments:

Jeff Meyerson said...

Sly, the guy who wrote the book is making a fricking fortune from the credulous and gullible who are happy to believe our government is lying to us (well...) and therefore this jerk must be right.

People are dumb, sometimes.

Eleanor said...

sly, try to get some rest tonight. :)