Sunday, August 31, 2008


I report to boot camp on September 8.

No, this does NOT mean our military has gotten desperate and has started drafting middle-aged women. This means that I've completely gone off my nut and have signed up for early morning torture on a daily basis for 8 weeks. Or maybe it's 6 weeks. I'll just be happy if I make it through one week.

Back in the day (which I SWEAR seemed like last week), I worked out on a fairly regular basis. I would swim a mile three or four mornings a week, lift weights, go on 25 to 30 mile bike rides on weekends, and rollerblade several times a week. I'll admit it, I wasn't totally buff and cut or anything, but I was definitely in better shape than I am now. Somewhere along the line, I stopped doing all of that and discovered the joys of couch potato-tude. And in doing so, I've discovered the downside of said couch potato-tude.

I enjoyed working out. During Olympics, I would find myself swimming or skating for the gold (in my mind of course). In fact, when I was in my 40's and "swimming for the gold", I heard the announcers marveling that I was competing at the Olympic level at that age. And this year, Dara Torres stole my thunder!

Hey, Walter Mitty's got NOTHING on me!

Long bike rides in the country were not only good from a cardio-vascular standpoint, but I would work out all of the problems in the world, or at least in my own world and would have time to get a good perspective on situations that I had to deal with. And get a good tan at the same time.

But at some point in time, I've let all of that get away from me and reclaiming it has seemed to be overwhelming.

From time to time, I've taken stabs at returning to my former life. That has usually involved buying a piece of gym equipment, signing up for a class or getting my bike tuned up. I'll set the alarm for a gaspingly early hour but would end up hitting the snooze button 20 times before taking the late bus to work. Like Scarlet O'Hara, I would say, "Fiddle-dee dee. Tomorrow is another day." And another day would find me slapping the snooze alarm and oversleeping.

So far, the only thing trimming down is my bank account from the monthly automatic withdrawals for my Y membership. At one point, I decided I needed to take things to a higher level and increased my Y membership so I could attend any Y anwhere in the world.

And yet I don't.

I even got a locker at the Y across the street from work so I can roll out of bed at said gaspingly early hour of the morning, throw on work-out clothes, grab my pre-packed gym back and clothes and catch the early bus to work.

And yet I don't.

In fact, I've forgotten the combination to the locker so I can't get into it to get out my shoes, toiletries and the tank suit I keep in there to wear in the whirlpool to ease the aches and pains in the muscles I just put through a good work out. (I hear laughter in my head.)

So, one day a couple of weeks ago, I was reading the newsletter to our local community center and encountered an article about Rise and Shine Boot Camp. The article swore that the class is for participants of all levels, from couch potatoes to tri-athletes.

I thought, "hmmmm"

There's that laughter in my head again.

I put the newsletter down and went to throw in a load of wash. Towels. Recognizing the symbolism, I ran back upstairs (which has been the extent of my work outs lately) and dug the newsletter out of the trash. OK, so that's where I actually put it when I said I had put it down.

I decided to sign up and talked a friend into signing up, who talked her son into signing up. You know, that peer-pressure/misery-loves-company thing.

Realizing that the folly of trying to go from couch potato to boot camp could be VERY painful and disheartening, I decided to start trying to get active before boot camp starts.

And yet I haven't.


OK, I've been walking in the evenings more, and have been taking the stairs at work every chance I can, but I don't think that's going to cut it. On September 9, I'm confident that I'm going to wake up moaning and groaning.

Yeah, I'm going into this thing with a real positive attitude, aren't I?

On September 7 I will set the alarm for a gaspingly early hour. On September 8 I will roll out of bed and into my work-out clothes and will dash the three blocks to the Community Center to start Rise and Shine Boot Camp along with Kathy and Adam.

Progress will be reported here.

Assuming I live to report it. And can type.

Saturday, August 23, 2008


People must be falling for this stuff because they keep sending these e-mails. This one has a slightly different angle. It's from "FedEx Redstar". They cannot quote the content of the letter via e-mail due to privacy reasons.....but they CAN tell me that the contents include a bank draft worth $380,000 USD.

Gosh....makes me wonder what the letter says. Oh well. One of life's little mysteries I don't feel like solving right now.

Dear Customer!

We have been waiting for you to contact us for your
Confirmed Package that is registered with us for shipping
to your residential location.We had thought that your
sender gave you our contact details.It may interest you
to know that a letter is also added to your
package.However, we cannot quote its
content to you via email for privacy reasons. We
understand that the content of your package itself is a
Bank Draft worth of $380,000.00 USD, FedEx Redstar Courier
do not ship money in CASH or in CHEQUES but Bank Drafts
are shippable.The package is registered with us for
mailing by your colleague, and your colleague explained
that he is from the United States but he is here in
Nigeria for a three (3)months Surveying Project as he
works with a OIL RIG consultant firm in West Africa,

Special Order. What you have to do now, is to contact our
Delivery Department for immediate dispatchment of your
package to your residencial address.Note
that as soon as our Delivery Team confirms your
informations, it will take only one working day (24
hours) for your package to arrive it's designated
destination.For your information, the VAT & Shipping
charges as well as Insurance fees have been paid by your
colleague before your
package was registered.Note that the payment that is made
on the Insurance, Premium & Clearance Certificates, are to
certify that the Bank Draft is not
a Drug Affiliated Fund (DAF) neither is it funds to
sponsor Terrorism in your country. This will help you
avoid any form of query from the Monetary
Authority of your country. However, you will have to pay
a sum of to $170 US DOLLARS to the FedEx Delivery
Department being full payment for the Security Keeping Fee
of the FedEx Redstar Courier as stated in our privacy
terms & condition page. Also be informed that your
colleague wished to pay for the Security Keeping charges,
but we do not accept such payment considering the facts
that all items & packages that is registered with us have
a time limitation and we cannot accept payment not knowing
when you will be picking up the package or even responding
to us.So we cannot take the risk to have accepted such
payment incase of any possible demurrage. Kindly note that
your colleague did not leave us with any further
information.We hope that you respond to us as soon as
possible because if you fail to respond until the expiry
date of the foremost package, we may refer the package to
the British Commission for Welfare as the package do not
have a return address. Kindly contact the delivery
department (FedEx Delivery Post) with the details given

FedEx Delivery Post
Contact Person: Mr. Jim Coker
Tel: +234-807-437-8481
Kindly complete the below form and send it to the email
address given above. This is mandatory to reconfirm your
Postal address and telephone numbers.


As soon as your details are received, our delivery team
will give you the neccessary payment procedure so that you
can effect the payment for the
Security Keeping Fees. As soon as we confirm your payment
receipt of $170 USD, We will not hesitate to dispatch your
package as well as the
attahced letter to your residence. It usually takes 24
hours being an over night delivery service. Note that we
were not instructed to email you, but
due to the high priority of your package we had to inform
you as your sender did not leave us with his phone number
because he stated that he just arrived Nigeria and he
hasn't fix his phone yet. We indeed personally sealed
your Bank Draft and we found your email contact in the
attached letter as the recipient of the foremost package.
Ensure to contact the delivery department with the email
address given above and ensure to fill the above form as
well to enable a
successful reconfirmation.

Yours Faithfully,
Mr. Gary Alis.
FedEx EXPRESS TEAM Management.
All rights reserved. © 1995-2008
This E-mail is only for the above addressees. It may
contain confidential or Privileged information. If you are
not an addressee you must not copy,
distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it
or any attachments.


.....I'm bonding with my new iPhone.

Laundry is piling up, dishes are in the sink, the garden needs weeding, tomatoes need harvesting, the house plants need watering, I need a pedicure, one teeny little hair on my chin needs tweezing, Fantasy Football draft picks need to be ranked for the draft in --eek-- two hours....but all of that is on the back burner. I'm trying to figure out how to pair my Bluetooth headset with my iPhone. Even with the Bluetooth device sitting on top of the iPhone (like a newborne baby lying on her mommy's tummy) the iPhone just says "searching" and can't find it.

Just my luck, I have a myopic iPhone.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

In the news......


Maybe they should put baseball cards in the spokes.

..........and your Olympics-related laugh of the day........


I ordered my iPhone this past Saturday.


The local Apple Store had a full supply of them


My AT&T wireless account is not due for an upgrade.


My friend Judy has an upgrade available that she was willing to loan to me.


The local Apple Store that has a full supply of them could not process a transaction where I would be borrowing an upgrade.


So we went to the local AT&T store who could process a transaction where I would be borrowing an upgrade.


But they do not have any iPhones in stock so I placed an order and have to WAIT (argh!!) 7 - 10 days.


I received an e-mail from AT&T Sunday night that my order has been shipped.


I checked the tracking information Monday afternoon and found out that my iPhone has been spending the ENTIRE DAY traveling from one side of Ft. Worth to the other.

(boo) and (huh?) (What does Ft. Worth have to do with Apple and iPhones?)


I just checked the tracking and my iPhone is HERE. In ST. LOUIS. Well, Berkeley, at the "sorting facility" for the delivery service being used (the same one that was in the plane crash in Castaway.)

(so, YAY)

SURELY the iPhone will be delivered to the store TODAY!!

(another YAY)

I'm going to the Cardinal ballgame tonight.

(and another YAY -- oh, wait a minute----)

With work

(oh -- yeah--that)

So I'll have to WAIT until tomorrow night!


Saturday, August 16, 2008

Surely iJest

Steve Jobs has never been known to rest on his iLaurels after launching the latest in techni-tude.  He went right from iPhone.1 to the MacAir to iPhone.3g.  And did he stop to catch his breath after that?  No.  OK, maybe he sat at his desk for a few minues and slid a MacAir in and out of an envelope and repeatedly said, "How cool is THAT?!".  But that's about it.  Because he and his fellow gazillionaire nerdy genii went back to work and came up with the latest in doorknob technolog.

Ladies and gentlemen, the iKnob.

OK, so Apple CLAIMS it's really a Bluetooth Headset for the iPhone; but who are you going to believe, THEM or ME? I have your best interests at heart; I don't want you to look silly, walking around with a doorknob hanging from your ear.

You're welcome.

Saturday, August 09, 2008


The Chinese welcomed the world the Beijing and boy! Do they know how to put on a show.  

"How did they do that?" was said more times that I care to count.   But seriously, how did they do that?

The fireworks were spectacular, but didn't help out with the pollution.

The Greek flag was apparently edible.

I thought pictures of the Birds Nest were great, until I saw the Water Cube.  Wow.

The dancing calligraphers were great, the drumline was awesome, the movable print -uh-- thing was outstanding.  So I feel petty pointing out that we can see this guy's wires.  I supposed for all of the dazzle they gave us, we should forgive that little slip. (for the pendantics in the crowd, I'm joking!)

Team USA looking spiffy,

...and tall......

But others were taller. OK, that kid? They say he's 9. Just how long is the typical Chinese year? Six months, 'cause that kid sure doesn't look 9.

Again, wow.

Quite a few countries chose to go green.   Well, ok, it was a major color in their flags.  Iraq's (or Iran's --- ???) green was better than a lot of the others.    Green can be a tricky color to pull off, fashion-wise.

In fact, green men were everywhere.

Roger was his country's flag carrier on his birthday.  He's obviously quite happy.

Hungary.  Um.....  did anyone else have the urge to sing "Who Let the Dogs Out?"   Police were everywhere, but obviously the fashion police were elsewhere.  

Yeah.  And then there's this.  

On the day John Edwards admits to some hanky panky and watches his political career go up in flames, W does the spanky spanky and enjoys the perks of his lame duckitude.