Sunday, April 09, 2006

NEWS LITE

Warning: This is a mini rant. If you continue to read, consider yourself warned.

Back in my former life (when I was married) we subscribed to Time Magazine, which arrived every Wednesday. My husband had a meeting every Wednesday night, so I had the magazine all to myself. I'd fix a big salad for dinner, get out the magazine and read it from cover to cover. It took an entire evening to do that.

Then came the divorce. I've meant to subscribe, but never got around it it; until recently.

Several months ago, an adorable neighborhood urchin showed up selling magazine subscriptions. I took the opportunity to get back onto the Time Magazine bandwagon. The order form said I should start receiving the magazine in 6 weeks time; and sure enough a magazine arrived.

Maxim.

What?

And, the first time Maxim arrived was when my son-in-law was visiting. I shudder to think what he thinks is going on in his mother-in-law's world.

I called and after a number of transfers, got ahold of someone who had to have been all of 15. She informed me that "yeah, we don't offer Time or Newsweek anymore, so we sent you Maxim."

Again, what?

They snail mailed me a list of magazines I could choose from; which I snail mailed back. Really, who snail mails anymore? Because I was so inconvenienced, they were going to offer me two magazines, and I chose some cycling magazine and a running magazine (my daughter, the one who does not read this blog, wanted me to get the running magazine).

I'm still getting Maxim even though numerous calls have been made.

However, while in the checkout lane at a local computer store, I got roped into trying Time for 8 weeks for free.

It arrived this week. No one told me that it's no longer Time Magazine, but is now Time Pamphlet. Seriously. What used to take me all evening to read can now be read during commercial breaks.

Too bad I don't read Maxim, because it's much thicker.

Apparently, that's how things are now days in the magazine business, heavy on the titillation; light on the news.

19 comments:

insomniac said...

though if you stay with Maxim until December you'll find out who they name "Mammary of the Year"

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking "justifiable urchinocide."

Sarah J said...

I quit getting magazines 'cause they're such a waste of money. It's much cheaper to read them online :)

Sarah O. said...

Remember back in like, 1978 when Time and Newsweek both plastered Springsteen on their covers the same week? I like Springsteen but it was pretty obvious that American newsmagazines had turned the corner from news to features.

I shudder to think what he thinks is going on in his mother-in-law's world.

"Um, son, I only read it for the interviews..."

Tramp said...

Newsweek is not bad, if you don't mind the 'lean'.

little sly said...

We were in town over spring break when another Maxim arrived. Tim said, "So, your mom's a lesbian?" I said, "She received Maxim on 'accident' before when you were in town, but she said she called and got it fixed..." I was just hoping that they had sent some special issue to all previous customers to intice them, but we didn't want to ask... This is either quite frustrating or a sophisticated cover up...

Slyeyes said...

Kids.

Sheesh!

tim said...

I love you, mom-in-law, even if you prefer the company of extremely attractive voluptuous twentysomethings. Come to think of it, thanks for letting me marry Jenni. We made our own Maxim, here in Maryville. It's called Maryvlaxim.

I can just see you now, saying, "TMI! TMI! My Eyes My Eyes!" like Phoebe watching Chandler and Monica. Eveything I know I learned from Friends. And Maxim. -- Tim

Slyeyes said...

Ah ha!!!! I KNEW someone had been reading the Maxim!

Oh, by the way, TIM anagrams to TMI.

Just sayin'.

Love yas!!!

Peri said...

Weren't you having some issues with a delivery man a while ago? I wonder what your current postman thinks.

-j- said...

Perhaps you'd care to forward Maxim on to some male-type reader?
I'm sure that someone would be willing to -- um -- take it off your hands for you.

-j- said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tramp said...

Incidently, I was reading Maxim back when it was called National Lampoon.

Tramp said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tramp said...

Sorry about the double post. Stupid touchpad. Or maybe it was the ice cream on my finger. Chocolate chip cookie dough (I knew you'd ask).

Kafaleni said...

That's why I stopped getting Reader's Digest (aside from the insane amount of "sure to win" competition mail.. which I still get almost 2 years after I signed off.)

Anonymous said...

Maxim has some pretty funny articles stuffed in amongst the porn, which is more than I can say for Time, which doesn't even offer porn. Sheesh.

Try Wired - it's a great mag (even for non-techs) and you can get it for around $5 / year.

-cbol

Tramp said...

If you ever own a business you will quickly find out they send you every magazine under the sun for free. I don't understand this logic, but that's how it is.

Leetie said...

I'm getting Time, Spin, Wired, and some cycling magazine for free. Well, not exactly free, but I have some frequent flyer miles that are currently worthless to me, so I traded a few in for mags. The cycling mag started coming because something else I wanted (I forget what it was now) was no longer available. I called and told them to stop that one but I guess they can't once the ball is rolling.

And yes, Time has definitely lost alot of its oomph.